Smoker's Rant

Regan Worth

Mary just informed me that it's World No Tobacco Day. Can you believe that? I figured she'd made it up to annoy me, but then I looked it up.

Sure enough, she was right. They created yet another way to torment us smokers. First smoking gets banned in restaurants, then in bars, and now there are some places where I can't even light up outside unless I'm hunkered down behind a garbage bin or something.

Puh-lease! Back in the day, they knew how to treat smokers. I'd sit in a bar and draw on my long jeweled cigarette holder. Hanover would offer a light. Then he'd light up his pipe and we'd sit smoking, drinking, and listening to jazz. No more. Now I have to down my drink and step outside to get my nicotine fix. I mean, talk about a health risk! I could catch pneumonia standing there in the cold and rain. Not to mention what the rain does to my hair.

And Hanover'll tell you, hunkering down in an alley is not a safe way to have a smoke. There are dangerous things in those shadows. And for some of us, those things are far more deadly than a little puff of smoke.